Just when you think life is tough enough, boom, it gets harder!!!

 Hello my lovelies,

I am lying on the sofa, on a Sunday afternoon. I am feeling pretty deflated and fed up. I have been so emotional lately because of the latest addition to my health issues. I am currently waiting on an urgent referral to Cardiology at the local hospital because my heart is beating too fast. Doing simple tasks has my heart beating so fast I get out of breath. Walking takes my heart beat up to over 120 bpm. I have to walk so slow. I am used to walking for miles with the dog, not getting around the block takes it out of me. Climbing the stairs wrecks me.

The hardest thing to cope with for me is that it happens when I am basically just sitting. I will be in work and start getting out of breath and realise my bpm is over 120. Walking the stairs in work causes me to get so out of breath my vision gets blurry and the legs go weak.

I am really struggling to cope with this. I was ironing a top and a pair of trousers earlier and had to lie down because it really took it out of me. This has been going on for many months now, but I can feel it getting worse. I can keep track of what my heart rate does throughout the day with my Fitbit. It shocks me when I am chatting to someone and realise my heart is beating really fast and look down to find my watch is saying I am doing Cardio exercise.

What is getting me the most, life was hard enough before this. I can't do the things I want to do. I can hardly even get the energy to get myself in to filming mode. I have so much I want to do. I have reviews and first impressions and more for my youtube, but once I am done with work, I am done. So many nights I end up in bed. Friday past I finished at 4 and got home chatted with my hubby and went to bed around 5, that was me. I managed to get up at some stage and heat up some soup but I slept so much. The fact my heart is beating so fast is tiring my body out so quick. If you think of it like this it is saying I am doing 11 hours of fat burning exercise everyday. So you can imahine how exhausted I am because my body is feeling like I am running a marathon everyday.

I am 33, I am too young to be getting out of breath just walking to the kitchen for a drink. I feel like everytime I get my life on the up and start getting my head around the fact I am a different person to what I thought I would be something else comes and knocks my feet from under me. I was doing so well, I knew my limits and in the last year its all just fallen apart again. I just want to get in to bed and not get out again. I am starting to just feel done, like I cannot take any more. I am scared as to what I am going to be told is wrong with me. Even though I am trying to not worry about it, it isn't that easy. You try not to think about it and then randomly your heart will be beating really fast and it is only natural it will make you emotional and fed up and worried. Which isnt going to make the heart beat any slower.

So anyway, that is my latest fun. I am at the doctors on tuesday so hopefully we will get somewhere with all of this and also that my referral will come through soon.

I hope you have had a good weekend and have a great start to the week.

Thank you guys for reading my blog. Don't forget to click that follow button and also check out my other Social Media.
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Marie Curie Cancer Care: In Memory of Desmond Milligan my amazing Father in Law who lost his battle to Pancreatic Cancer. Help me support this great cause in his memory. xxxx

My life in a Nutshell

Good afternoon my lovely readers,

I hope this cool Sunday finds you well and having a great weekend. I have been wanting to get back in to blogging for a long time. I want to be able to film for youtube, but I just don't have the energy for it. I thought today would be a good time to start giving you an insight in to what is going on with me.

As some of you reading already know me I don't need to give you the run down of what conditions I have, but for those of you who don't know me here goes....

At 18 I was diagnosed with an underactive thyroid

I had an injury in work as a care worker at 18 and started my real pain journey

At 22 my body gave out and Icollapsed to the floor while doing dishes, I couldnt sit up without a pounding feeling in my head. I ended up in hospital with an Mri and Lumbar Puncture and told they had found blood in my spinal fluid. I was told my body had basically Mimicked a stroke due to being excessively stressed. I was told to rest and try not to get stressed.

As years went on the pain flared and eased and flared and eased.

At 25 I went through constant periods of sickness, was told I had swine flu and had to wear a mask, then few days later told I had Glandular Fever. I was given Antibiotics and sent home. I rested for a few weeks and went back to work, I stupidly changed shifts with someone and it meant that I would be working 9 days straight, I felt my self getting worse and worse over the days, my head was constantly pounding. My final evening in work, it was nearly finishing time, I had gone to the bathroom, I remember sitting on the toilet think please God just get me home if you get me home, whatever happens happens. I can remember standing up at the sink and washing my hands, the next thing I was on the floor covered in my own sick, it was over the mirror in the sinks and over the floor. My clothes were saturated. It was very scary. But instead of going to the hospital, I got my dad to pick me up and take me home. I went to bed for a few two days and made it to the doctors on Monday, had blood tests taken and the following morning had a call from my doctor to say my blood count was 8.1 and because my blood count was so low when I was sitting up the blood wasnt flowing properly around my brain and so I passed out. I was off work for months before we found out the reason my blood dropped I had two massive duodenal ulcers, I knew I had pain but never really thought much about it, but things got worse I then went from having two to having 7 new ones by my next appointment.

I continued working through all of the pain and sickness that would constantly come. I was always exhausted and kept getting viral infections I would be off for 4-5 weeks recovering. By the time I was 28 I got so bad with the pain and exhaustion I was unable to work and couldnt get out of bed. My husband had to help me get to the bathroom, to wash and dress for doctors appointments. I was finally starting to get somewhere with help, I was sent to a Rheumatologist and they diagnosed me with Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I really didnt know much about either of these. My life had already changed so dramatically and it was only going to change more.

I have adjusted and learned to live with this new me. It has not been easy, but I will talk about that in another post. I think that is probably enough for now, what more can I say, life can suck sometimes. Please feel free to share or comment below if you are a fellow sufferer. xxx

Thank you guys for reading my blog. Don't forget to click that follow button and also check out my other Social Media.

Youtube: www.youtube.com/lyndseymilliganhb
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Lyndseymbeauty
Instagram: http://instagram.com/lyndseymbeauty

Marie Curie Cancer Care: In Memory of Desmond Milligan my amazing Father in Law who lost his battle to Pancreatic Cancer. Help me support this great cause in his memory. xxxx